May 24, 2014

On frustration and patience

This week was one of the worst I've had in this academic year. It was filled with all kinds of emotions, from extreme happiness and joy, to being super confident before a test, to breaking down in the middle of it, and even diagnosing myself with a psychological disorder (I'm actually scheduling an appointment with a psychologist, talk about safe measures.)

Over the weekend, as you may have read I was studying hard and steady. I was understanding everything. Hell, I was correcting others' mistakes. I was the math guru among my class, pointing out errors in their calculations and keeping my friends on the right track.

Monday was filled with joy, with lots of studying and a happy call. I think it was one of the days in which I've felt really commited to studying. And then tuesday came. The test. The test! I started out perfect, until I stumbled across a cero. A cero is highly unlikely in our type of calculations. I asked my professor if I should consider that cero and then he told me everything was wrong. Everything. Not one single thing. My world was crushed to pieces. I broke down. I was overwhelmed by nervosity and I couldn't do anything else. At the end he gave me one step of the answer so that I could go, but it was all lost. I panicked and I couldn't do anything else.

I got a three out of fifteen. Never in my life I've gotten a three, especially in a subject that I know I can ace. I was not sad, I was angry. I can do this, I know this by heart, I've even solved exercises in my dreams! I was so frustated because I ruined my perfect marks, which would allow me to relax about the finals. Depression kicked in for two days, until we discussed the test and solved it in class. I was right all along. All my answers were right and my professor crossed them as wrong. That step he gave me, it was wrong. So I had a "Folgefehler", a consequencial error because of that wrong answer.

I eventually sat down with my professor and showed him how he wronged my assignment. He recognized the mistake and allowed me to redo that part of the test. I might not forgive him for giving me two days of extreme depression, but at least I'll be able to really show I ace Analysis.

The moral of this story is, trust your gut. If you know you can do it, trust your answers and your intuition, they won't fail you. And most importantly, don't let your emotions overwhelm you like they did to me. Sometimes one has to have a bit of patience and everything will turn on its right track.

Have a wonderful weekend and happy memorial day!

No comments:

Post a Comment